one club is not the same as another

let's talk about a club in berlin. i wont bore you with the details of berghain just yet, but what i will talk about just briefly is the kitkat club. this club is one of the stranger ones i have been to. it feels like a rave club, yet plays like a fetish bar. it's one of those places that are very welcoming, full to the brim of extremes and yet somehow still has a hint of innocence. i don't know how it's possible either, but they did it.

a friend of a friend had told us on christmas day, that if we aren't doing anything that night we should head out to the kitkat as they were having a christmas rave. i jumped at the chance, as i had wanted to check it out since first learning we were going to berlin. what's a trip to berlin without the decadence? all i knew was that it was a place with interesting dance music, leather and pvc party goers and a malaise of sexual fantasy thrown over everything. how could i not want to check it out? after all isn't that one of the reasons i'm in europe? to check out everything i possibly can that either isn't allowed or frowned upon back home? so after a massive meal, some red wine and a stop off at a local pub for a beer or two we went. you don't go out in berlin until at least 1am and even then, the clubs don't get pumping til about 3-4am.

upon arrival you walk through the doors and enter a coat room. this is where we obviously put our coats, but others were taking off more than that. one guy stripped down to his underwear and then put on a santa coat. not done up, just hanging losely around his undie-covered body. a girl near him took off nearly all her clothes and strutted around in a leather bondage outfit, complete with arseless chaps. allthough i felt a little weird having all my clothes on and not having had at least fifteen animals die to give me said clothes. i felt alright once i got in there though. (which is an interesting notion in itself - feeling odd wearing clothes. how novel indeed!) other people had not taken the dress code too seriously either and were in civillian clothes as well. to tell you the truth though, if it was one of those places where you had to be naked or close to it to enter, wild horses could not have dragged me there. this pale and pasty body is not for public display. i may be in germany, but that does not mean my sensibilities and prudishness get thrown completely out the window.

inside the place resembled a pretty average dance bar. flouro decorations everywhere, couches and seats strewn all over the place. the only big diffrence in berlin, as opposed to frankfurt clubs, is there's never anyone at the door to the toilets demanding you pay to use the facilities. something which i get sick of very quickly. paricularly because i have yet to see a toilet that is pristine enough to warrant paying for the privilege of releaving your insides. although i have seen many that deserve to be crapped on, but that's a whole other kettle of fish. once inside the music on this night reminded me of the music they play in revolver. not the crazy dance once the sun comes up, but the stuff they play in the pillow room before everyone gets hearded into the pool room. although there is two rooms in kitkat (the other room's music was pretty similar to the first one's, just less places to sit), we stayed in the first.

i had two surreal moments in kitkat. the first was entertaining the fact that pot is legal in berlin and rolling a joint for all to see. it was very odd. i can remember sitting at a table and rolling a fat one when one of the barstaff walks over to clear the table. my first instinct was to hide it, which would have been stupid, given that even though the joint is hidden, the bag of pot is still directly in front of me. and besides, how does that old song go? 'you don't get caught if you don't act funny.' so i just continued to roll. the guy clearing tables just walks over, smiles at me and takes all the glasses off our table. of which there were a few, we were sharing tables with another group. a group it seems had more pot than a columbian drug lord. not only did they spark up constantly, but i swear to god they rolled the biggest joints i have ever seen. i just got high off their second hand smoke.

the second surrealism happened when i noticed what was to the side of the dancefloor. there was a bed set up with a massive sign saying 'fuck for forrest' on it. i'm not too sure what conservationism has to do with sexual intercourse, but if that's how they want to help, then at least they're doing something i suppose. it wasn't until about half-way through the night that i saw this piece of kitkat in action, but once it started it seemed to go on constantly. two girls making out and 'fooling around' while various members of the opposite sex stood around and pleasured themselves. not only did i see a guy in a miniskirt jerk off to these hippies sans clothes, but i also saw a guy with one arm only dressed in tight-fitting leather pants sit to the side and tweak his nipple. i remember wondering if the only reason he was doing that was that he needed help with his belt, but that's just mean.

this wasn't all i saw in kitkat, but it does give you the idea of the kind of christmas day that i had. it wasn't traditional by any means, but i had fun dancing around, drinking beer, smoking pot and being a total voyuer perve. i'm glad i went. the only thing that was slightly disappointing was that i was told that if it wasn't chritsmas there would have been more fetish stuff going on, but most of the fetishists were probably with their families enjoying the chirstmas break. but i did see a few of them. guys in nothing but jockstraps, girls in small miniskirts without underwear. i even saw one of these girls get fingered by a guy dressed as a woman.