money woes

a few days have passed since i wrote on here last, so i thought i'd give you guys a quick rundown on my progress. it's completely and utterly official i am going. not only have i done what i said last time, ie bought tickets and insurance and what not, i have now told work i am going and put in for my annual leave. i finish work on the 14th of october, but i really finish on the 20th of september. that's when my annual leave kicks in. i was originally going to quit the retail 9 to 5 a few weeks before i go, but hey, annual leave gets taxed at some ridiculous amount when paid out, so my state manager has graciously allowed me take it as leave before i quit. yay for Matt. not only that, but he says he'll leave a recommendation for me to be rehired on my return from the land of beer and engineering. kudos to you, buddy!

it seriously looks like i'll have enough money now, cause i'll be staying at my parent's house in stink-town (that's ballarat for the lucky uninitiated) and i am told that i'm not allowed to spend any money there by my mother, bless her heart. that means 3 or 4 pays that will just be sitting in the bank. ooooh i can't wait to see the commission stack up. this puts to rest most of my money related fears. which if you read my earlier 'freak out' blog, you'd understand this means a lot. i am still concerned for the money i need to apply for my german working holiday visa, but baby steps timothy, baby steps. hopefully by the time mid-august comes around those fears can be laid to rest too.

the only thing that truly gives me hope is that i have quite a substantial amount coming to me in the next few months. i have (and i type this not to brag, but to explain everything. my hope for this blog is to be completely honest with you all and that means telling things i normally wouldn't or shouldn't), an inheritance of a couple of thousand, my pays and annual leave which total again a couple of thousand, money from the selling of my beautiful tvs and white goods and things (and if you know me, you know how hard it is to let go of those things. sigh i'll miss you both you beautiful hunks of plastic and LCD crystals. although i have made an executive decision to keep the PS3. i just can't do it. and i know my brother will keep it safe for me in the fear he might have to pay me money if he breaks it. that boy is the tightest fucker in the world, and he's only 14), and my bond coming back to me. all up i think i hit a ballpark of about $6000 - $8000. unfortunately i wont have all of that with me until the week before i go, which means saving like a bastard for this damn visa. i get my inheritance in about a week or two, but that goes straight to the delightful skye at flight centre for my ticket. she is awesome, she got me so excited about europe and saved me about $500 at least on my airfares and insurance. (if you're planning on going anywhere see her down hardware lane in the Melbourne CBD - shameless plug over)
the other good news i received today was that my credit cards are able to be upped from their pissy limit to something more substantial. also that i will not have any problems if they get stolen or frauded on. apart from them assuring and reassuring me that i can dispute heaps of stuff when it happens, my travel insurance covers it anyway - to a certain point. damn fine print.

anyway, that's it for now. sorry this blog wasn't as amusing or angry as any others, but hey, it can't all be climax and we aren't jack bauer all the time. plus you guys need background info and character/trip development or you'll feel jibbed later when something related happens and the pay-off sucked. just like when ron dies in the latest harry potter.


ps my sleeping patterns have improved slightly. i no longer wake up screaming about nazis and calling people jerrys. i just kind of whimper and go foetal. hehe... nah, that's an exaggeration. it's impoved heaps, though i'm still not getting a full night's sleep. last night, for example, i woke up at 11:30pm, 1:00am, 2:30am, 5:00am and again at 10:00am . most people would probably shrug this off and say, 'tim, your sleep's always been screwed so shut up your whining, bitch.' but to them i say, 'fuck off.'

pps ron doesn't really die. or does he...

it begins

So it's official, i'm going to Germany. to be honest with you i am shitting myself. now i know alot of people are all like, 'it's character building', 'you'll meet heaps of new friends', but until that happens i literally have to check my 'reg grundies' on the hour every hour. last week i went and reapplied for my birth certificate (my old one has worn away with age - something akin to paper mache) and it kind of struck me then that i was doing something massive. today, however, i sent off for my passport, paid for my medical and travel insurance and put a deposit on my ticket - this is where i got scared. or to be more honest terrified. there is no going back now.

i don't know what to do there, except drink beer and not talk about nazis and jews, apparently the former's bad ettiquette. i've checked out a few tours, but i don't think i want to spend 5 hours on a bus travelling past things that look cool, only to stop off at some european devonshire teahouse with the blue rinse set. that however is secondary to my fear of flying and a growing insane paranoia that i will not have any money once i get there. this is what keeps me up at night. 'will i have the cash to see out a year?' 'will i be able to pick up the german language when all i know now are stupid sayings and swear words?' 'will my flight be high-jacked or worse, be sat next to child?' (incidently my travel insurance pays $1000 a day if i am taken hostage, but only for 8 days total. which does nothing for my irrational fear. if it's included in the insurance then it must happen!?!)

over the past week i have been waking up throughout the night with an impending sense of doom. i can trace this sleeplessness back to the 20th of July, which is, you guessed it, the day i got my birth certificate in order to obtain a passport. i can only dread what is going to happen now i've organised everything apart from my visa. which leaves me in another bind. what happens if they don't allow me a young person's working holiday visa? (as long as i'm not 31 i'm counted as a young person which is nice) what happens if i can't scrape together the $4800 i need in order to prove i can survive? i can't reschedule my flight and i can't not go. i've worked myself up into such a frenzied state of excitement and fear and trepidation, not to mention i've told the world what i'm doing. there's no turning back from this. my only sanity lies with a few valiums and a large bottle of scotch. which by the way i'm paranoid about taking on the flight because i'm scared that i'll pass out in hong kong and miss my connecting flight. the only question left to ask is, 'when did my anxiety take over and let me become Woody Allen?'

*i'll get back to you on how the sleeping pattern goes now - my guess is not very well*