i'm back in ballarat - or stinktown. it's just like i remembered it. cold, boring and very simple. nothing against stinktown, but i always feel like i've gone through some kind of portal and travelled back in time. somewhere between bacchus marsh and ballan the time continuum slipped and yaz is still number one on the charts, clear cola is all the rage and the equality movement is still just a pipedream. i honestly think if they could, they'd take the vote away from women and burn 'the gays' and 'coloureds' on a burning cross for sunday afternoon entertainment. it's not all bad though, i've just spent a couple of days with an old friend of mine who i've missed incredibly while living in melbourne. i think if i was to ever get arrested, she'd be chained up beside me and we'd both be drunk and giggling.
my last few nights in melbourne were a blur. almost a full 24 hours of hazy remembered stupidity, or to be more specific - 5 clubs, 1 house party, alot of alcohol, too many cabs and soooo many photos of friends, strangers and things i'm better of not remembering. needless to say, it was a crazy night and i think i'm happy that these nights don't come by too often.
the move to stinktown wasn't as bad as i expected, i moved on a monday and since my goodbye festivities happened on a friday/saturday i was mostly recovered. unlike poor irish pete, who ended up coming home early from work on monday still feeling slightly less than normal. that poor boy, he's definitely better of with me gone for his last month or so in australia. i'm what would be called his enabler. i'm just a boy who can't say no, so is he and together it's a whole world of hangover, booze and sundays trying to piece together what the hell just happened.
26 Sept 2007
17 Sept 2007
goodbye work
it's now official and done. i handed in my resignation today and i feel like a massive weight has been lifted. i know that i've already quit, but it didn't feel done with until today. my resignation got handed in and emailed to all the right people and is pretty much as official as it can get. i only have one problem though, i didn't burn my bridges, ie tell the people i wanted to to get fucked and rot in hell. it's the one part of quitting that really seems to lift the weight of one's shoulders, but something about coming home broke and desperate and needing a job stopped me from doing this. i suppose it's smart not to, but it is still a little disappointing to know that so much more could have been said and i didn't say it.
on the other hand though, i have never felt more free and excited at work. i only have two shifts left and i can't wait to be done with it. it seems like as soon as i started at this job every ounce of creativity left me and for the past three years i have just been coasting along and not living up to my full potential. hopefully this will change now that i can start staying up all night and writing again without the worry of work. the biggest thing i will get out of this is never again having to worry about new phones, mystery shopping and what someone else thinks of the way i dress, act or behave. (i worked in phone retail) i have never really been someone that's cut out for the nine to five routine. and until recently i've kinda forgotten this and begun drudging myself around under the assumption that this was how my life would play out. thankfully i have been able to pull myself together and get out of that. i don't know what i would have done if i had of woken up at 40 still doing what i did. killed myself probably, with a note stapled to my forehead saying, 'here lies tim. a dried up husk of humanity because he forgot to live for himself.' but not anymore. i'm going to freakin' germany!?!
on the other hand though, i have never felt more free and excited at work. i only have two shifts left and i can't wait to be done with it. it seems like as soon as i started at this job every ounce of creativity left me and for the past three years i have just been coasting along and not living up to my full potential. hopefully this will change now that i can start staying up all night and writing again without the worry of work. the biggest thing i will get out of this is never again having to worry about new phones, mystery shopping and what someone else thinks of the way i dress, act or behave. (i worked in phone retail) i have never really been someone that's cut out for the nine to five routine. and until recently i've kinda forgotten this and begun drudging myself around under the assumption that this was how my life would play out. thankfully i have been able to pull myself together and get out of that. i don't know what i would have done if i had of woken up at 40 still doing what i did. killed myself probably, with a note stapled to my forehead saying, 'here lies tim. a dried up husk of humanity because he forgot to live for himself.' but not anymore. i'm going to freakin' germany!?!
15 Sept 2007
need to vent
so i have less than a week left at work and just over a week left in melbourne. the nerves are pretty much non-existent. to be honest with you, i'm more nervous about organising a visa than actually leaving the country. this, or so i am told, is pointless worrying. everybody has said to me that the visa stuff is easy and you'll have enough money and blah, blah, blah... but i don't care what they have to tell me about visas and their trips because none of them have ever gone to where i'm going. sure getting a visa in such and such a place was easy and they didn't check all your references and bank accounts. i'm sure it was sweet as pie to be allowed to go here and there and work without the fear of being stopped by custom officials and being denied. but i'm going to germany - it's where the nazis come from. they may be a little stricter when it comes to things like visas. so i am slightly worried yes.
what i am not worried about is actually being there. i have been told by many a person that when they did this, or they did that, they freaked out, cried or were just plain scared. i am not one of those people. i do not find new situations, people, languages or cultures terrifying. i find them fascinating and unbelievably interesting. i would love it if every month i could wake up with a new place to discover and explore. i am sick to death of being told that when i do this, or when i do that, i will behave in such a way or be homesick because that's how you felt when you did this or that. WRONG. when i do this or that i will feel completely different from how you felt because i am not you and therefore experience things differently. for fuck sake people, i've lived all over the east coast of australia by myself and have been independent for over 10 years now. i think i know how to handle and deal with the things that life throws at you, whether i'm in another country or this one.
so in closing to my rant and vent, quit telling me how i will feel, stop telling me about your trips here and there that have nothing to do with mine just so you can relive your glory days as a stinky backpacker (remember i hate hippies and backpackers - check my myspace rant for evidence of this), quit trying to tell me about what happened when you went there when you spent maybe a weekend on the other side of the god damned country to where i'm going, and stop telling me shit that you found out there like i find it interesting that you're ruining my surprise.
rant over
and by the way, yes i am very aware that i had a freak-out blog written below, but that was not in relation to going to germany, it was more due to the fact that i effectively quit my current life and the repercussions of that. it has nothing to do with going overseas (okay maybe the flying part), but all to do with the fact that i quit my 'career' on a whim and the word of someone i have never met in person. but more about that in a later post.
what i am not worried about is actually being there. i have been told by many a person that when they did this, or they did that, they freaked out, cried or were just plain scared. i am not one of those people. i do not find new situations, people, languages or cultures terrifying. i find them fascinating and unbelievably interesting. i would love it if every month i could wake up with a new place to discover and explore. i am sick to death of being told that when i do this, or when i do that, i will behave in such a way or be homesick because that's how you felt when you did this or that. WRONG. when i do this or that i will feel completely different from how you felt because i am not you and therefore experience things differently. for fuck sake people, i've lived all over the east coast of australia by myself and have been independent for over 10 years now. i think i know how to handle and deal with the things that life throws at you, whether i'm in another country or this one.
so in closing to my rant and vent, quit telling me how i will feel, stop telling me about your trips here and there that have nothing to do with mine just so you can relive your glory days as a stinky backpacker (remember i hate hippies and backpackers - check my myspace rant for evidence of this), quit trying to tell me about what happened when you went there when you spent maybe a weekend on the other side of the god damned country to where i'm going, and stop telling me shit that you found out there like i find it interesting that you're ruining my surprise.
rant over
and by the way, yes i am very aware that i had a freak-out blog written below, but that was not in relation to going to germany, it was more due to the fact that i effectively quit my current life and the repercussions of that. it has nothing to do with going overseas (okay maybe the flying part), but all to do with the fact that i quit my 'career' on a whim and the word of someone i have never met in person. but more about that in a later post.
9 Sept 2007
my home town
i thought i'd write a little about my home town, melbourne. i love this city. so far it is the one place that i really consider home. most people who know me don't realise that even though i grew up all over the place; sydeny, brisbane, the sunshine coast and a small stint in ballarat, i was born here. some of my earliest memories of life are in melbourne. (NB some of these dates are probably wrong, memories are designed to fade and with them the accuracy of time)
i can remember being in grade one at mill park primary and it snowing. getting half the day off from school to build a snow man with the neighbour's kids and when it started to melt we decided to try and eat him. i still have a picture of that snowman somewhere. crooked nose, demented eyes and a lopsided head that made him look sassy and slightly angry. i can remember sitting in the backyard one night with mum and dad watching a comet fly across the night sky. this was in the early eighties and i want to say it was haley's comet, but i don't know much about astronomy and it could have been frank or sandra's comet for all i know, but for now i'll say it was haley's comet cause that makes it seem less like a faded memory. i also have these remembrances of good ol' franco cozzo's furniture add. anyone who's ever lived in melbourne should know this man and love him. he's the old school john so. i can remember him inviting everyone down to his shops in bruns-a-wick and foot-as-gray. i was delighted when i moved back to melbourne after 15 years missing in action to find him still trading his wares on the tv, even using the same quote, 'megalo megalo megalo! grand sale, grand sale!' (if anyone can tell me where to find a copy of his ad i would be in heaven)
now though, i have different memories of melbourne; going out to some funky underground club and coming home at 10am, working in the centre of the CBD and the craziness that seems to go hand in hand with it, brilliant coffee in little laneway cafes that could rival anywhere in the world, finding sweet-as fashions in a strange tucked-away stores. ahh... melbourne - king of all that a city could offer. there's a reason it won the world's most livable city, not once, but a few times.
i can remember being in grade one at mill park primary and it snowing. getting half the day off from school to build a snow man with the neighbour's kids and when it started to melt we decided to try and eat him. i still have a picture of that snowman somewhere. crooked nose, demented eyes and a lopsided head that made him look sassy and slightly angry. i can remember sitting in the backyard one night with mum and dad watching a comet fly across the night sky. this was in the early eighties and i want to say it was haley's comet, but i don't know much about astronomy and it could have been frank or sandra's comet for all i know, but for now i'll say it was haley's comet cause that makes it seem less like a faded memory. i also have these remembrances of good ol' franco cozzo's furniture add. anyone who's ever lived in melbourne should know this man and love him. he's the old school john so. i can remember him inviting everyone down to his shops in bruns-a-wick and foot-as-gray. i was delighted when i moved back to melbourne after 15 years missing in action to find him still trading his wares on the tv, even using the same quote, 'megalo megalo megalo! grand sale, grand sale!' (if anyone can tell me where to find a copy of his ad i would be in heaven)
now though, i have different memories of melbourne; going out to some funky underground club and coming home at 10am, working in the centre of the CBD and the craziness that seems to go hand in hand with it, brilliant coffee in little laneway cafes that could rival anywhere in the world, finding sweet-as fashions in a strange tucked-away stores. ahh... melbourne - king of all that a city could offer. there's a reason it won the world's most livable city, not once, but a few times.
the reason i'm posting about melbourne is that i went photo-taking the other night around the CBD to show my german friend where i live and just to have some photographic memories when i leave 
and it made me feel so homesick. there's just this vibe you get walking around melbourne that is unlike anywhere else i have ever been to. brisbane makes me wish it were bigger and more exciting, ballarat takes me back in time, the sunshine coast always made want to reach for sunscreen and sydney always made me wish i was in melbourne. (sorry sydney, but IMHO i'm not a big fan. i like my cities with character, not an obvious need for global attention.) there's just this general feel in melbourne that's full of wonder and excitement. something to do with the fact that the longer you're here the more you realise that there is way more to find, see and do and that you've only just scratched the surface.
and it made me feel so homesick. there's just this vibe you get walking around melbourne that is unlike anywhere else i have ever been to. brisbane makes me wish it were bigger and more exciting, ballarat takes me back in time, the sunshine coast always made want to reach for sunscreen and sydney always made me wish i was in melbourne. (sorry sydney, but IMHO i'm not a big fan. i like my cities with character, not an obvious need for global attention.) there's just this general feel in melbourne that's full of wonder and excitement. something to do with the fact that the longer you're here the more you realise that there is way more to find, see and do and that you've only just scratched the surface.
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