contemplating connexions

saturday night i went to a nightclub in mannheim called connexions. connexions is a bit of a mash up of three clubs all in the one building, with one thing in common - they all played old, boring, tiresome music. i don't know if it was the night that we went or the fact that the place was full of americans (again i ask where are all the germans?), but it wasn't the best night out i've had. perhaps it's the somewhat 'grass is always greener' view that i've had about other countries and their clubbing habits? perhaps it's the assumption of dance music's roots in europe? perhaps it may even be the endless list of fellow travellers telling me europe is better? or perhaps it's just that i come from melbourne? where the beats are awesome, the coffee strong and americans are where they should be - somewhere else other than where i am. (don't get me wrong, i don't mind americans, i am just tired of seeing and hearing so many of them in germany. i'm somewhat offended on the german people's behalf with all the american bases here and the fact that none of them seem to like where they are except on a kitsch level. 'oh look at that quaint building, chuck?' 'yes it is nice, cindi, but i think chicago is better at christmas time.')

anyway, we arrived in what could only be described as an industrial area of mannheim - the club was down a side street, down another side street, then down an alleyway with no actual road, just mud, and finally nestled between two warehouses, which i assume were empty. it was like walking onto the set of hostel 3. i kept waiting for someone to pop up and tell us there was a great party down the road and that we should go there, only to be drugged and woken up by a chainsaw to the chest. it didn't help that from the entrance you could see two smoke stacks nearby churning out, well, smoke, and that everything looked quite dilapidated and forgotten about. i didn't mind this so much, it added to allure of the place. if it looks out of the way and like it doesn't exist, usually it means that it's an awesome underground club and only the true party-goers know about it and attend. something melbournians have subscribed to for a while now. for an example look at honky tonks, sure it wasn't the best kept secret, but if you weren't from melbourne you would never have known where it was or if it even existed.

so we went inside and, just like the club i went to in frankfurt on my last day there, there was no money exchanged once inside. you get a drink card worth fifty euros and as you buy drinks the bar staff cross off what it's worth and you pay at the end. don't lose it or you have to pay the full fifty euro to get out of there. i remember thinking, 'well this place must be popular if they have this system.' it didn't occur to me that popular does not always equal good. for an example of this look at paris hilton. sure she's popular, but what good is she really? still i went in and after checking my coat at the door went for a drink and a boogie...

...or i would have of the music was any good and the bar staff cared about making a profit. they seemed more interested in greeting their friends at the side of the bar than serving people drinks. and the music? dear god! the DJ in the main area was a classics DJ, which i though meant good time-tested music, not crappy shite from 10 years ago that should be left as a cautionary tale of what not to play, like the eigthies. although i did get to hear britney spears' new song THREE TIMES!!! i shouldn't have been surprised by this though, the main floor was having it's fortnightly gay night - think the peel without the irony. this became overtly apparent when i heard a cher song mixed with a beat that sounded eerily similar to every other beat heard so far that evening. i even remember hearing alanis morrisette. *shudder* once the party got started it wasn't too bad. alexis and i found a room where the DJ was playing 'black music', or what the rest of the enlightened world call R'n'B or hip hop. which personally i don't mind. again though it was all old school except for that damn umbrella song, which seems to be haunting me no matter which continent i'm in.

the decorations where pretty cool though. in the gay area it was a christmas theme and had snowflakes, snowmen and all sorts of christmas inspired nonsense hanging from everywhere. the dance floor even had white sheets cut like the snow hanging from rooftops around it. the 'black music' room had, predictably, dollar signs cut out of styrofoam everywhere. only problem was the place looked kind of crappy and uncared for, so no amount of decorations was going to save it from looking like revolver on a monday morning without the reassurance that at least your off your chops. what was cool though was the fact there was a cafe inside the club. i'm talking about an actual cafe here, where you can sit down at a table and chairs and have a coffee or kind of chat if you could hear above that terrible beat that backed every song played by Mr Classics DJ. that man should be shot. there was a third dance floor as well downstairs, but alexis and i didn't enter it. we didn't need to. we could hear the music from outside. it was the same as the gay dance floor, just without the pop song layered over the top. we didn't need to hear that one beat again and without the lyrics trying to disguise it as cool and trendy 'classic' dance.

well i'm off to berlin for xmas and new year's so here's hoping the clubscene will be better there. i know it will be. i've already got two clubbing nights planned. berghain (not usually work safe with the crazy themes and such), and click here for a random youtube clip of the panorama bar inside berghain (it's not the best, but at least you get an idea why i'm excited). and the kitkatclub (definately not work safe) for a totally german night of S&M/leather/pvc/cabaret-inspired kraziness. here's two youtube clips as a taste one and two. it's about time i saw what people have been raving about and to in europe. can't wait!!!

tchuss

awards for coolest part of the evening in mannheim is a tie.

firstly an honorable mention to - americans (white and black) who think it's cool to dance like a cliche sexist rap song to timbaland, justin timberlake or any other slightly sexy singer/song every singer/song. never before have i felt so much pride in not being what someone else is. they grinded and booty-shaked all night long, with not a hint of irony or sarcasm to be seen. granted it may seem cool on tv sometimes, but in real life it's just wrong and somewhat icky. i did giggle and stare quite a bit.

first prize goes to two things, firstly - super-gay germans. consider that for all my life germans have taken the brunt of anti-WWII sentiment and are usually shown as the evil people. need a crazy euro bad guy for a movie? throw in someone with a german accent. need someone creepy, ala hostel 1? throw some german in there. never before have i seen a squealing, prancing and (my personal favourite adjective) mincing german. it was brilliant. i'm smiling as i type this and it's 3 days later! oh the joy of the super-gay german. trust me when i say it was fantastic. it was like robert de niro in stardust. the day cape fear went camp. comedy gold!

second thing - when you left they gave you a chocolate santa, complete with little felt santa hat. just precious! it was so cute and unexpected i don't want to eat him, although he did melt somewhat on the journey home.