first night out on the town

(NB this entry is going to be huge!)

i went out last night by myself. i was a little scared to do this because, well, i was by myself. alexis, my friend in germany, chatted to me on the phone before i went out and he warned me to be very careful. not because i don't know how to handle myself, but because i'm in another country were i don't know the language. if i got into trouble a) how would i get out of it, b) how would i know i was in trouble until it was too late, and c) i could get deported for stuff i don't even know about. sound advice that i took on board, but it didn't stop me.

before i went out i checked the internet to see what were the best places i could go that were kinda quiet so i could at least try to talk to someone and that weren't too fancy. don't get me wrong, i love fancy, but as my bag would only hold so much, i couldn't bring fancy with me. plus, no matter what i wear i don't dress like a german so their fancy is different to my version of fancy. so anyway, i drank two beers before i left the hostel. which in germany means i drank a litre of beer. bottles are .5L and only cost 2.50 euros, which i think is about $4 aust. the beer over here tastes pretty good, the beck's is the same as it is in melbourne, but they have another beer in the hostel called groller, which is actually really tasty. i've been told that it's a local beer and is favoured by alot of locals, however once out i found out that they drink alot of beck's, so all my beck's drinking in melbourne came in handy. i can drink loads of that stuff!

so i left the hostel in 'good' spirits, a little tipsy, but nothing i can't handle. i walked for what seemed like half an hour and finally got to my first pub. i had to walk past it a couple of times to before i realised it was there, and when i looked in the window it looked like a lesbian bar so i was a little unsure. but once i walked in i realised that the men sat on one side and women sat on the other. it was quite the spectacle. the place was called control and run by a little blond woman who spoke english so i ordered my first beck's in english, which was handy. because she was lovely and i'd drunk a little i started in with the german when ordering after that. there were three bartenders and i have to say, they seemed to like me. i think this was mainly because i was trying to speak their language, unlike some friends i met a little later who were made up of four americans, one canadian of indian decent and one german. the four americans were very american and even though i liked them it was still odd to be in germany and hear so many american accents. the canadian accent was nicer to hear, a little more subtle and subdued. the german guy had an accent that was awesome. just think of wolfcastle from the simpsons and you got him. 'my eyes! these goggles do nothsink!'

now these guys were lovely and let me tag along to their night. two of the americans were only here for 10 days and kinda doing a quick tour of the country. the others all work here, so it was their town and i knew that if i stayed with them it would be okay, because they knew the town, could speak german and could speak english. what i didn't intend on doing was getting absolutely shitfaced and seeing some real dodgy sights. but more of that later.

so after sitting in control by myself and drinking up a storm of beck's, 'ein bier bitte?', i started to chat these guys, they invited me out for a smoke so i went, in germany they have the laws that australia has, no smoking inside clubs and such. which is odd because nearly everyone here seems to smoke. but most places seem to have smoker's rooms, which are just tiny rooms with massive air conditioners. like the hong kong airports but dirtier and full of drunken germans. it was out there when i noticed that people can walk into bars and pubs with dogs. i was a little put off by this and asked if it was common. the german guy said yes and seemed quite surprised that i asked this. i then asked if they had any health and safety issues and if i could walk in with a cat. he though i was taking the piss, which i was sort of, but i was also curious. he couldn't answer my question and i left it at that.

after some more beer the guys wanted to take their american friends to experience some real germany and they let me tag along. the first stop was a place i can't remember the name of, but the bartender knew english so it was good. unfortunately one half of the americans couldn't at this stage and had no idea what was going on. it was quite amusing to see a german get annoyed because his english and comprehension was better than an americans. now while we were here i was told that this tiny dirty pub was actually a place to meet prostitutes and then you you go upstairs to an apartment and 'transact' some business. i laughed my arse of at this and just thought, by the look of the place, they'd have to go cheap.

the next place we went to was pretty creepy and pretty amusing at the same time. the bartender liked us here because we were buying up big, and just quietly i think he was amused by the sight of us in such an underground kind of place. now this 'pub' was very interesting. it was a gay bar and had a smoking room as well as a dark room. if you've ever been to the peel in collingwood and noticed the upstairs 'for men only' section you will know exactly what a dark room is. for those that don't, let me explain. when you're out with a man-friend and you're getting along nicely enough that you can't wait to get home to do the nasty, you take them to this room out the back were you can't see anything at all except for the door. hence the name dark room. now this sounds a little skanky and dirty, but if you actually go in there you notice it's much worse. i poked my head in to have a look and it was basically just a square room with park bench type seats all the way around and no flooring, just concrete. i guess the minimalism of it all makes it easier to hose off at the end of the day. i just wondered though, how many people have gone in there and sat down either on someone, or on someone they weren't suppose to. i'd dare say you'd get a nasty shock or at least be needing a change of pants.

we then moved on to another place which i don't really remember at all. which is probably a good thing as the further we went that night, the more gross and weird it got. all i can remember is another tiny smoking room and hardcore house music, which i remember liking and thinking this sounds like revolver when it's pumping. it reminded me of my friend cecilia and i remember giggling with the thoughts of a thousand 'tanked' nights with her and thinking if she ever comes here i am so going to find this bar again and demand that we go, but it would require alot of drinking beforehand to get the courage to go through the door.

this was our last stop, and as some of our companions had to work at 10am the next day we said auf wiedersehen to the bar scene and went home. the night was massive and i'm definitely hungover. there's a pub crawl going on tonight from the hostel and i'm debating whether or not i should do it. it's my last night in frankfurt and i'd really like to see a nice version of it before i go. last night was very interesting indeed, but i think i'd like to see the comparison. if only for the blog's and curiosity's sake. plus i want to hear some hardcore german beats and see them dance. i saw a bit of that last night and i had to stifle a laugh. the hardcore german mod types dance like goths to craftwork. it's so fucked up that i can't even describe it without giggling, but i loved it and if i get a little tipsy tonight i'm going to give it a try. if you could imagine someone doing the robot but arms out straight at the sides dressed only in black and emo hair, you've got it. for an example of something similar and creepily accurate click here. (for some reason, this is the only clip on youtube. it's not the one i wanted, but you get the idea.) i'll let you know how it goes and what exactly i end up doing on my last night in frankfurt. whatever it is, i bet it's going to be interesting and quite the experience. but it's going to have to try hard to beat the skanky, gay, prostitute-filled weirdness of the night before!

(as a side note, i've realised just how often i've used the word creepy when i'm talking about germany or anything german. just so everyone knows, i don't use it as a derogatory term, just as the only word that comes close to describing what i'm seeing and experiencing. when i find the right word i'll let you all know, but something tells me it's not going to be an english word, maybe german or perhaps russian.)